Forgiving God

On p. 163 of "Beautiful Outlaw: Experiencing the Playful, Disruptive, Extravagant Personality of Jesus," John Eldredge shares the story of a friend who needed to forgive God:

A friend of ours called to ask for prayer. We met, not quite sure what was on the agenda, but willing to help if we could. She said she didn't feel Jesus anymore. Didn't want to feel him anymore. Surprising words from a woman who once had a pretty intimate relationship with Jesus. She began to talk about the suffering she and her family had been through -- bankruptcy, losing everything, and then church folk blaming them for bringing it on themselves through some unconfessed sin. (Which was not the case -- this was during the economic collapse of 2009. Can you see why I hate the religious fog?)

As she opened up the well of suffering in her soul, I could feel the loving, concerned presence of Jesus in the room. With all the intention you see in him toward the woman at the well, or the rich young ruler, I could feel him getting in position to rescue this heart. Rather than jumping to offer encouragement, counsel, or advice, we simply prayed. 'Jesus, what are you saying in response to all this?' I heard his loving voice very clearly:

You think I did this.

It was the same strong, kind voice I now see him using all the time in the Gospels, but never saw before because I was watching television with the sound turned off. I had removed his personality from the stories. He said it again:

You think I did this.

Our friend was speechless. The 'faithful church girl' part of her heart didn't want to admit what she was really feeling. But pain has a way of stripping all pretense. 'Yes, I do,' she said.

You need to forgive me.

Now that really blew her away. Forgive God? This idea is going to cause some readers to freak out. Just listen for a moment. If you are holding something in your heart against Jesus -- the loss of someone you love, a painful memory from your past, simply the way your life has turned out -- if you are holding that against Jesus, well, then, it is between you and Jesus. And no amount of ignoring it or being faithful in other areas of your life is going to make it go away. In order to move forward, you are going to need to forgive Jesus for whatever these things are.

When I lost my job in 2010, I needed to forgive Jesus. I was really mad. But I understand that it wasn't his doing; it was the responsibility of my employer at the time.