He called it good

Guest post by Lauren Martinez Catlin

I don't remember when I started calling myself a writer, but I do remember that the first time my father explained who the Holy Spirit is, I wrote in my journal that I'd just realized that I could witness through my writing. I always wanted to make the world a better place, and I always wanted to write stories. That night was the first time I realized it was possible to do both at once. I don't think it was a coincidence that I came to that conclusion the same night I was introduced to the Holy Spirit. I think the minute there was a crack open in my mind for God to speak directly to me, that was what He most wanted to say.

After a few years of writing out of my pain, I came to God and asked if there was anything else I could do. I didn't like writing everything so dark anymore, and every time I tried to write about happy things, it came out pale and shallow. God spoke to me then and told me to write about the light reflected off dark waters. He said that if I kept writing about just the depth and darkness of the waters, I'd drown my reader and they'd die. If I tried to write about the pure light of the sun, I'd blind my reader and they'd go away empty. The trick is to write about where the two elements meet, where the despair of a broken world is met by the beauty of God's grace. 

Later, when I was working on a new novel, I was feeling tired and discouraged. During worship at my small group, I felt God come and tell me that the story I was writing was very beautiful. I was so overwhelmed at God's generosity at that moment, because I would have kept working even without that word. God chose to encourage me because he cares about the state of my soul, not just the work I can do. 

On a different project, I was working on a very complex plot that intertwined seven different characters. I needed all the characters to meet each other at different points in the book, and I couldn't get them to end up in the same spot. The ideas I had of how to do it were so obvious and clunky, and I wanted it to feel natural and elegant. As I was trying to convince myself to write the first few words, God came to me and said, “It's okay if it's contrived at first. You can fix it later.” The idea that it was okay if it didn't work the first time allowed me to start. Four drafts later, the meetings are as natural as water and effortless to write. God told me that he had confidence in my ability to make it right, which gave me the confidence to make it at all. 

A couple years after that, I was having a very low moment. After being told and believing that I'd finally gotten my big break, months later it turned out that nothing had really happened. My hopes were crushed, and I was going to have start from scratch. God found me in my car at a gas station, shoveling peanut butter ice cream in my mouth. “I see you're upset,” He said. I told him my greatest fear, now crystallized before me. “I'm afraid the work just isn't very good,” I confessed. “I feel like if it was good someone would have picked it up by now.” God told me that he thought the novel was good, and I smiled my nice-girl smile. “I know, but isn't that a little like my grandma saying it's good? Don't you have to like what I do because you're God and stuff?” Now, I might have been being a bit flippant because I really was down in the dumps, but I heard God's reply very clear and strong. “No. I am the one who gets to say what's good. I made the sun and said it was good, and I say that book is good.” 

As it turned out, that book became my first published novel. I'm not rich or famous, but I have a book out that people can buy. I leave a copy out where I see it every day and I remember what God has done for me. I remember that God's goodness is most evident when it's in contrast with the pain of living in a broken world, that God cares about the state of my soul, that God has confidence in the talents he gave me. Mostly, I remember that God taught me how to create something new and call it good.


About the Author:

Martinez Catlin is an author and poet who is committed to inspiring compassion through the written word. Her work has enhanced the efforts of A Minnesota Without Poverty, Breaking Free, Source Ministries, Justice4All, and A Beautiful Rescue. She graduated from the University of Minnesota in 2008 with a degree in English Literature. The Other Side of Silence is her first novel. She currently lives in Minneapolis with a very cute husband and a German shepherd.

Check out her website, buy her now-published novel, and watch some of her performances.