In search of perfect fatherhood

I often beat myself up over my parenting of my son. I try to be an excellent father to him, but I fail. Sometimes it's my temper. Sometimes it's feeling guilty about saying "no" to jumping on the trampoline with him and his buddies. Sometimes I just wonder if I'm being the best example I can be to him.

It probably comes as no surprise to you on this Father's Day that being a dad is very challenging. There's really no human blueprint for perfect fatherhood, as all men have faults. I have come to realize that the only perfect father is God. He is a father who loves us completely, listens to us and is always there for us.

There is hope and encouragement for fathers who want to take the initiative in becoming a better father, though. Consider reading "Raising a Modern-Day Knight" for a suggested blueprint on how to take your son on the journey to manhood. For daughters, "What a Daughter Needs From Her Dad" provides insight into exactly what its title suggests.

One aspect of being a better father is to know yourself better. Many of us weren't taught what it means to be a man. That's why I just started reading "Stepping Up" by Dennis Rainey, a book that identifies five stages of a man's journey through life — boyhood, adolescence, manhood, mentor, and patriarch — and examines a man's responsibilities at each step. (Here is a 16-page PDF preview of "Stepping Up.")

So, on this Father's Day, if you're feeling that you're not the best father, don't beat yourself up over it. No one is the best father except for God. Just give it your best shot. And go tell your son that you love him -- now.

Hearing God in times of stress

I regularly pray to God. About big things. About little things. When I lost my job nine months ago, I prayed about really big things -- like my family's finances and me finding a new job. But there was no response. I still don't have a job, and I was feeling abandoned by God.

That was, until I listened to a recent podcast by John Eldredge. He said that it's really difficult to hear God in times of stress, because there is so much noise attacking us. I know what he's talking about -- everybody from my wife to my parents to former coworkers were telling me what to do after I lost my job.

Eldredge's advice is to start with small prayers, like "God, do you love me?" We know that the answer to that is a resounding "Yes!" Eldredge said that there's so many factors that go into the big decisions, that it helps to simplify.

I also think that it makes sense to get away from distractions to focus on God. Just like you can see so many more stars in the country than in the city because of all the lights, it's easier to hear God when one gets away from all of the noise and distractions.

Lord, I yield to you.

The assurance of Jesus

My wife recently read a book about the church's responsibility to environmental stewardship called "Saving God's Green Earth" by Tri Robinson.

On pp. 40-41 in the book, Robinson describes an encounter he had in nature that demonstrated the existence of God. The story starts out with Robinson at a musical at a church:

During the musical, there was a multimedia presentation that made a lasting impact on me. Now, you must realize that this was in the mid 1970s, and the cutting edge of media in those days were two slide projects that faded in and out simultaneously. During the presentation, the choir performed a song taken from Psalm 42 where David was crying out to the Lord, 'As the deer pants for water, so my soul longs for you.' As they were singing this song, the slide projectors would fade in and out images of nature. However, the projector kept returning often to this one picture of a doe with this deep penetrating gaze. For me, the deer representated Jesus -- and that image grabbed me like no other. I was so taken by that picture, realizing that the longing in my heart was to come to know God and know for sure that Jesus was God. I wanted to know it was really true.

Upon returning to our ranch that evening, I was so bothered by that picture that I was unable to sleep. I just wanted to spend some time and think. So, I returned to the same knoll on the mountain where I had sat when I was 16. As I approached the knoll, I noticed there was a log there in a clearing. After I sat on the log, I began praying, 'God, if you're real and Jesus is your son, would you reveal yourself to me?' At that point in my life, I did not question the assurance of God, but I was still wondering about Jesus.

As I was sitting on the log praying, I heard footsteps behind me. I was terrified. I had lived in the mountains most of my life and it wasn't unusual for me to take walks in the night and hear strange noises. But on this particular night, I was terrified. Never mind the lions and tigers and bears. I was asking God to come and reveal Himself to me -- and in my heart and my mind, I felt like God was walking up behind me, so much so that I was afraid to turn around.

With this paralyzing fear keeping me firmly seated on the log, I hardly moved when a deer stepped within an arm's reach over the log I was sitting on. She walked over the log, moved around in front of me and turned, looking me square in the eyes, just the same way the deer had stared at me throughout that multimedia presentation. It was in that moment that Jesus was really revealed to me. It was as if He was saying, 'I'm here and I'm real -- and I'm answering your prayer.' I no longer needed any more assurance that Jesus was God's Son. I knew it deep in my soul.

Keep praying...