In one passage (p. 65-66), John talks about an experience one morning related to our insatiable desires:
This time of year it is still dark at 5:30, and I just sat there, holding the cup in my hands, letting the warmth seep into me. My soul felt like it was coming back from some distant place. Where does it wander off to at night? I have no idea. My dreams are a vague memory. Sitting cross-legged on the sofa, cradling my cup, I began to turn my thoughts toward God. It was so good to know that I had time to linger and just be with God. What are you saying this morning, Jesus? What do I need?What happens is that we end up looking to our spouses to fill us up. That's too much pressure, and of course we're going to be disappointed. Jesus is the only one who can quench our desires.
A few moments of quiet, and then I hear, My love.
I'm not in crisis. Yesterday was a good day. We held some pretty energetic meetings at work; it was fun. When I got home, I fixed the leaking kitchen sink -- a triumph that makes a man feel mighty fine. (I tried to help Stasi relate, 'Imagine you just lost five pounds today.') After dinner I finished a book I'd been enjoying. Stasi and I are in a good place. We snuggled when we went to bed. But all that was yesterday. As I am regaining consciousness this morning, coming back to myself, none of that remains. My soul is needy again. Good grief -- I feel like a sponge. I can take in so much in a day, almost ravenously, feel pretty good, but the next day I am dried out. Again.
This is the nature of our condition. All of us are leaky vessels. Sandy soil. When it comes to happiness, our soul is like a colander, a tire with a nail in it, our grandfather's memory. It feels like there is a homeless person inside of us, wandering around pushing a shopping cart.
This is brutal on a marriage.
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One of these days I would like to get into that war.
ReplyDeleteIt can be challenging, but is very rewarding and worthwhile.
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I are seperated after 18 years of marriage. I am desiring that we attend two marriage retreats and watch the "Love and War" video within the next month.
ReplyDeleteMy wife says I am the one with the issue, I left her. She is right. I don't want to continue the same old story that has to many battles and not enough Godly love.
Marriage can be extremely difficult. The "Love and War" book is really helpful, and I highly encourage reading it.
ReplyDeleteOne aspect they deal heavily with throughout the book is the spiritual warfare that believing couples face. To be honest spiritual warfare is not something I often think about confronting in marriage. The Eldredge's have an acute awareness of the warfare that couples face and help arm them with prayers and strategies to overcome these difficult situations. These attacks span from the "wounds" we have incurred throughout our life as well as other areas of weakness that may develop in our relationships.
ReplyDelete