A murder averted

My church small group currently is going through the book "Life's Healing Choices: Freedom from Your Hurts, Hang-Ups, and Habits." The book features a foreword by Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life." John Baker, the author of "Life's Healing Choices," founded Celebrate Recovery, one of the most successful ministries in the history of Saddleback Church, where Rick Warren is the lead pastor.

There are some very moving stories in the book, including this one by Mary, who struggles with abuse, anger, eating disorders, and codependency.

Soon my husband told me how unhappy he was and that it was all my fault. I agreed and felt he was right. He did, however, agree to go to marriage counseling. But during that first session, my husband told me he had been having another affair. This was when I hit bottom. This was too much for me, and I lost all sense of reality. I could see no reason why he should keep on living. When we got home, he went right to bed. I was hysterical, crying. When I knew he was asleep, I took the biggest knife we had, braced myself against the wall, and held it up above his neck. For some reason I thought, 'Maybe God doesn't want him dead.' I had not thought about God in years. So I asked God aloud, 'God, it's Mary here. You know all about my situation and that I am about to kill my husband. If You don't want me to do this, then You have to give me the power to put this knife back.' The next thing I remember is feeling as if a person were hugging me from behind. I cried all night on the bedroom floor. That night I was completely emptied of myself. I asked God to fill my empty body with Himself and to show me where I could learn about Jesus. I didn't know it then, but I was making the second choice in my journey toward healing. (pp. 58-59)

Mary and her husband ended up getting a divorce but she now understands that God fully accepts her for who she is.