Guest post by Paul Ristvedt
The first time I heard God really speak to me personally was when I was a junior in high school. At that time, I was part of a youth group which had just exploded with popularity as around 250 high school students were part of it. It was the first time in my life that I started to interact with God as a young adult in a personal way. I never missed a meeting, I was fairly involved with it, and it helped me make friends.
In the group, there were generally eight to 10 senior leaders. I decided that I should apply for leadership for my senior year and based on my involvement, I had a really good shot! The night came when they were announcing the leaders. During the announcements, I felt God impressed upon me that I wasn’t going to be a leader ... and what he told me happened. I wasn’t in the announcements. My name wasn’t called while other names were called. However, I was at peace during the announcements as I knew God was with me. That feeling would not survive for long.
I was distraught. I didn’t know what to do. My identity, and naturally my popularity, had been tied to the fact that I was going to be a leader (although no one else seemed to think what I thought). This church ... had ... abandoned me. I still was part of the youth group, but one of the best things happened to me after I left the church that had loved me and introduced me to God in a massive way to be open to finding a new place to worship God.
Senior year, a friend had invited me to a new church. I decided to go. I was BLOWN away. People were worshiping God, the music was emotional and the people were “sold out” for God. I decided to attend a small group and dive in despite the potential of getting hurt again. The men in the small group were awesome. The youth pastor, intense. I also was ready to surrender my life.
A funny thing happened when I first asked God if I could surrender my life to his will and be “sold out” for him. The funny thing that happened was, nothing happened. Nothing at all.
Here’s what took place.
I prayed in my small group with our passionate youth pastor and not one thing changed. The part that is a bit ridiculous but really interesting is that the youth pastor said, try again! I can’t imagine telling someone that. So I did. I went back to group the next week. I was ready. I’m not sure what changed or maybe God isn’t a cheap lover (not to be interpreted broadly by theologians), but the second time was very different. God’s presence was in and around me and I felt the presence of the uncreated, immutable, reckless, loving God and his host of angels. I’m not sure why it played out that way, but I was never the same. I had given my life to Jesus and asked him help me to live a “sold-out” life. It was the beginning of my journey. An incredible journey which can be summed up in a quote from C.S. Lewis’ The Last Battle, “in which every chapter is better than the one before.”